So the new challenge at the moment is not taking the daily mini-meltdowns personally.
I have to continually remind myself of a few things:
- V2 doesn’t intentionally mean to mash weetbix through my freshly washed hair (this is a big deal, it only gets washed about twice a week due to everyone else insisting on being in the bathroom when I shower – puppy included).
- V1’s persistent refusal to close his eyes when you rinse (not wash!) resulting in his yelling at me that he can’t see (when his eyes are in fact closed and I rinsed his hair with nothing but a bit of water so there’s no way it could be stinging), it’s not a personal attack.
- V1’s new developmental milestone of adding the ‘repeater’ game to his repertoire is perhaps not an attempt personally rile me up. If you are already angry about an instance of bad behaviour, having your toddler repeat the questions you are asking him back to you 20 times certainly doesn’t help the situation. It took a complaining text to my better half to understand that perhaps since I’d phrased the question as a ‘why’ instead of a ‘what’ or a ‘do you want’ he didn’t, in fact, understand both what I was asking, or how he could answer. Since answering the question required that he actually understand his own mindset and be able to communicate it meaningfully to me, this was in fact an oversight on my part – I was expecting too much and not taking the time to understand he needed a moment. I took his repeating of the question as continual jabbing when he was just struggling to process the question!
- The puppy’s continual accidents inside are not personally aimed at me (although it feels like it, given they are always on my watch and not that of my better half!).
When I get busy, caught up in other things and jam pack our days, sometimes the thought process that force me to stop, think and forgive are pushed aside.
- V2 was just trying to share (and the weetbix feel cool – who doesn’t enjoy eating with their hands occasionally!)
- V1 is just learning from a couple of times when a little shampoo did get in his eyes. He’s got a great memory (for some things!).
- V1 is using repetition to learn. We repeat the alphabet. Numbers. Colours. Songs etc. It’s only logical he repeats what he hears and is asked in order to process it.
- The puppy – well he’s a different story. He’s 10 weeks old and I know there’s a very strong possibility he’s so still so little he doesn’t even know he’s having an ‘accident’!
I made up for this morning’s misunderstandings with a trip to town aimed at the kids. Scrapped getting groceries. Scrapped going to the dry cleaner and scrapped sourcing Christening presents (which would have required a lot of sitting still in a shop full of shiny things – just an unreasonable ask). We instead got milkshakes, cake (which I ate most of – can’t give them too much sugar!), new shoes for V1 (which, while yes it sounds like a chore – he actually loves!) and a couple of impulse toys from the shoe shop. Everything else can wait so we have put a pin it for next time and all parties went to naps, happy and content.